Ok, so almost 2 years ago I did a post about Pilates. The heading was “Oh, I thought you said pie and lattes” and it started with “Ok, so I know I need to start to do some exercise. Ran out of excuses. Not pregnant anymore, have flexi time, have a support system that rocks… So I decided to try Pilates.”
Just being mom
Oh dear… when you’re used to “different” stuff it’s difficult to cope with “normal” stuff!
I realised it this morning… when I phoned to book an appointment with our pediatrician for our 3 week old baby boy who is a bit grumpy at night…
With our first daughter, Anika, I (almost) never had to book appointments with pediatricians within the first two years of her life – we were in hospital/ICU wards at least once a month so we could just ask the specialists about any issues and concerns whenever they did their rounds!
There are also some other first-time-“normal” things we need to cope with this time around… like the umbilical cord that needs to be cleaned and kept dry in order for it to fall off (Anika’s cord was off before she came home), the routine you need to get the baby into (which the nurses did on our behalf the previous time around), burping Reuben over my shoulder is also different now as we couldn’t do it with Anika (her feet were pulled up to her chest so we couldn’t get her body in a straight position in order to burp her properly).
This time around I also don’t duck-n-dive the milestone articles in magazines – which I realised is better to do in any case… in my opinion 🙂
But with Anika we never had the “normal” baby issues like colic, rashes, measles, tonsils, ear pain, etc. – we were too busy with the brain, spinal cord, foot etc. operations and MRI scans – no time for the “small stuff”!
So yes, “normal” things are “different” to us now, and now I realise that the “small stuff” drains you physically and emotionally just as much as the “bigger stuff” – I think the lack of adrenaline this time might also make a difference!
Today I want to give a shout-out and a high-5 to all the parents who had to (and still do) cope with “small stuff”… I was under the impression that you had an easy time playing mommy and daddy – but now I know that there’s more to it!
The other day I had the privilege to meet up with one of my Primary School friends again after 17 years. What an awesome experience! We talked about the “old days” and old friends, places, teachers… We caught up with each other and talked about life nowadays, what we do, and how we do it.
I realised that we were both happy with our lives, we both enjoy our lives – what we do and how we do it – but her life won’t work for me and my life won’t work for her. And it’s okay like that.
She is a very busy, single business woman who doesn’t even want to have a pot plant, dog or lease agreement of more than 6 months because it’s too much commitment – WHAT IF she wants to move away or change direction or go on holiday or gets tired of her house or car? ….for a moment it seemed like fun to me, until I thought about my life.
I have a husband, daughter, son on the way, house, car, business, contracts, pot plants (…ok, I must admit, it’s only two of them and it’s succulents – vetplantjies – and only requires water about once in two weeks… I think/hope – and my office assistant Jane makes sure that they stay alive), fixed appointments, a scheduled routine – and I love it!
I’m sure I would hyperventilate if I had to live her life and vice-versa, but the beauty of this is that we are both happy with what we have 🙂 – we wouldn’t want it any other way.
I do sometimes wonder how life would be the way she lives it, and I’m sure she also thinks about how life would be the way I live it, but I’m sure that we are all better off living our own lives – our own ways!
Can’t imagine mine without all my special, loving, sometimes challenging but always worth it commitments 🙂